Friday Fictioneers – A Walk Through Time

18 04 2013

The sun is shining, maybe winter has finally ended after all. (OK, so ten minutes later it was raining). Either way it’s time for 100 words or thereabouts of fiction based on this weeks photo prompt from Janet Webb. If you would like to join in with the Friday Fictioneers go see Rochelle’s blog. You don’t have to be a writer (I’m not), you just have to enjoy writing.

This week’s photo put me in mind of a short story that I’ve been meaning to write for a while now, so this is a kind of abstract from a story yet to be written!

And of course it’s all based on a true story, and set about a mile from where I live!

(c) Janet Webb

A Walk Through Time

As I walk along the beach, shingle crunches beneath my boots, waves crash in and suck back out again with a death rattle of pebbles.

I see a small wreck pulled up on the beach ahead.

Drawing level with the bare ribs and rotten timbers, a massive shiver runs down my spine as if crossing a powerful threshold. I smell tobacco, feel a presence and hear the whispering in the wind. A few steps further and the feeling fades away like the early morning mist.

Turning around, understanding dawns. I’ve just crossed over the line of the old smugglers path.

 

₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪ ₪

Smugglers



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20 responses

18 04 2013
Anne Orchard

You got me wanting the full version now. Well done.

18 04 2013
tedstrutz

Sounds like a good ghost story to me!

18 04 2013
Carrie

Shiver me timbers!! A delightful ghost story.

In that first sentence, shouldn’t it be “shingles crunch”?

19 04 2013
writeondude

Mmmm, no. Don’t think so. If I was talking about roof shingles then they would be plural, but shingle as in a mass of small pebbles, I think it sounds ok. But if anyone knows better …

18 04 2013
Joe Owens

I want more, more please! This is good!

20 04 2013
Lyn

Ditto

18 04 2013
zookyworld

Great descriptions to set the mood of the scene. The “death rattle of pebbles” is very creepily good.

18 04 2013
Mystikel

Leaves me spooked out and wanting to hear more. Good job.

19 04 2013
kindredspirit23

I have felt those shivers and such when walking certain places.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/04/18/friday-fictioneers-4192013-genre-sci-fi-pg/

19 04 2013
Sandra

Definitely a start of something good… well done, I’m looking for more.

19 04 2013
Shreyank

reading this gives me the jeepers ! very well written !

19 04 2013
elappleby

I love the death rattle of pebbles.
great story

20 04 2013
Lyn

I just loved, “waves crash in and suck back out again with a death rattle of pebbles.” A perfect description of the sound. You could go so much further with this 🙂

20 04 2013
rochellewisoff

Dear Pete,
Thank your for being my tour guide along the smugglers path. You left me wanting more. Nice one.
shalom,
Rochelle

20 04 2013
kz

eerie! your descriptions are really great 🙂

21 04 2013
Linda Vernon

I love the part where you say “and suck back in again with a death rattle of pebbles” I read that and knew I would like this story, which I did!

21 04 2013
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

Yes eerie.. Those old smugglers and pirates probably never got to rest.

23 04 2013
lingeringvisions

Yes, I think you could go somewhere with this.

23 04 2013
David Stewart

I think the smell would freak me out the most.

23 04 2013
Sarah Ann

Very atmospheric.

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