Friday Fictioneers – Found

14 03 2013

Hello all. Welcome to another Friday Fictioneer bonanza. 100 words based on a photo prompt. Far too many entries to read and comment on I expect, but I promise I’ll try and do better this week. If you’d like to know more, visit Rochelle and she’ll tell all.

(c) Lora Mitchell

Found

Catherine stared in abject horror at the flowers, heart pounding. The Limardi family always sent white lilies before a hit. After eighteen months, and three different safe houses, they had found her, and wanted her to know they were coming.

With trepidation, she uncurled her clenched fist and stared at the florist’s card.

Card

With a quiet sob she let the crumpled card fall to the carpet.

In a strange way it was a relief when the door buzzer sounded. She calmly opened the door. It was not quite who she expected.

“Aunt Lily!!”



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38 responses

14 03 2013
Sandra

Yay! Nicely set up – great twist.

15 03 2013
Pete

Thank you, Sandra.

14 03 2013
silentlyheardonce

What a great spin. Seems Catherine will be around a little longer.

15 03 2013
Pete

If her aunt can find her …

15 03 2013
silentlyheardonce

Maybe Aunty can get her to a better hiding place.

14 03 2013
deanabo

oh my! I am so glad it was her aunt!

15 03 2013
Pete

It was … this time

14 03 2013
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

Run Catherine, Al is still out to get you… or maybe he has hired Aunt Lily…

14 03 2013
writeondude

Or maybe AL is Aunt Lily . . .

14 03 2013
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

🙂 a thanks god for that

14 03 2013
JKBradley

Nice job at building anxiety.

15 03 2013
Pete

Thanks, it was fun trying to fit so much into 100 words.

14 03 2013
kindredspirit23

If she is still worried, I would send the niece or nephew home!

Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/friday-fictioneers-who-woulda-thought-genre-fiction-rated-pg13/
Scott

14 03 2013
sustainabilitea

Love it!! Lots of twist, turns, and doubling back, all ending in a good laugh…unless they really are still after her. (Cue the music, so we can tell which is likely.)

janet

15 03 2013
Pete

I think they’re looking for her, so she’s going to have to move again.

14 03 2013
sustainabilitea

Oh, I love how you got the card in there, too.

15 03 2013
Pete

Had to use ’em up somewhere now that businesscardfiction.com seems to have died a death. And I like the idea of a bit of mixed media. Loved the one a few weeks back with the picture of the phone and text message (Doug?)

15 03 2013
kz

i felt her relief! haha
but i’m still worried for her! what a mess she’s gotten herself into. really original take on the prompt. loved it

15 03 2013
Pete

Thanks. I think she is going to have to move house again.

15 03 2013
rochellewisoff

Dear Pete,
Janet beat me to it. The card was a nice touch. Great build of tension and an unexpected ending. Good job!
shalom,
Rochelle

15 03 2013
Pete

Thank. As I said to Janet, I like the idea of using pictures, etc. Loved the one with the phone and the text message a few weeks back from you and Doug.

15 03 2013
unspywriter

The best line of all the good lines was the one in the card–the family will always find you. Great building up tension and a surprise twist. Good job.

Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/september-morning-forever/

15 03 2013
Pete

One family has found her, but the other one is probably not far behind.

15 03 2013
elappleby

Very good – you had me fooled, so the twist was a big surprise!

15 03 2013
Pete

The clues were there. 🙂

15 03 2013
yepiratehere

Brilliant! I laughed and laughed! Really, sheer brilliance!

15 03 2013
Pete

Aargh, thankee kindly sir.

15 03 2013
Joe Owens

I felt like the one in the apartment is Lily. I hope she can run before the hit takes place.

15 03 2013
Pete

If her aunt can find her it might prompt her to move on and try to stay ahead of the mob.

15 03 2013
jwdwrites

Oh very good! I was hiding behind the sofa when she opened the door! great ending. 🙂

15 03 2013
Pete

Thank you. It was hard to fit it all in!

15 03 2013
kdillmanjones

Nice plot idea!

16 03 2013
lingeringvisions

Aunt Lily! Haha. Oh wait, that’s not funny, is it? Yikes.

16 03 2013
billgncs

an excellent twist!

18 03 2013
abraham

Excellent! I really like this one!

18 03 2013
Sarah Ann

Made me smile – lovely twist.

18 03 2013
winterindecember

so could aunt Lily perhaps be the one sending the card?

18 03 2013
Pete

I think so, it was signed A.L. 🙂

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