Friday Fictioneers – A Late Night Tale

7 03 2013

Hello all you lovely people! Time for another dose of Friday Fiction, a wonderful opportunity to try out new ideas, themes and styles in a 100 word composition based on a photo prompt. If you’d like to know more, visit Rochelle’s blog. Join in, it’s fun and sometimes even educational!

This week I have mostly been thinking about long-distance hiking. But enough of that, read on … if you dare.

(c) Jennifer Pendergast

A Late Night Tale For Those That Like That Sort Of Thing

Ring-a-ring o’ roses.

The sound of a young child singing echoed down the wide stone stairwell. I edged cautiously upwards, hand sliding along the icy metal handrail. The light crackled, flickered and died.

In total darkness I flattened myself against the wall, hands pressed against cold stone.

The singer started to descend the staircase, edging ever closer. I held my breath and prayed that my pounding heart wouldn’t give me away.

Suddenly the light returned, driving away the shadows. Of the singer, there was no sign. But the last notes of the song lingered in the air.

All fall down.



Advertisements

Actions

Information

27 responses

7 03 2013
silentlyheardonce

This story took me back to a childhood ghost story we use to tell in the dark with the flash light. I felt fear, really. Excellent work.

7 03 2013
Anne Orchard

Makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end! Very creepy.

7 03 2013
Sandra

Very, very sinister. I can still hear those childlike tones… Well done.

7 03 2013
deanabo

Chilling and spooky! Great story.

7 03 2013
jenndicamillo

Suddenly, the light returned. Good job.

7 03 2013
JKBradley

I like the use of children singing to send a chill. Well done.

7 03 2013
buffalostarmedicine

ouuuuuu, eerie. Me likes it! All fall down…. childrens songs can sometimes be soooo terrifying….

8 03 2013
8 03 2013
sustainabilitea

Pete, I like the matter-of-fact horror of this and letting us draw our own morbid conclusions.

janet

8 03 2013
kdillmanjones

Nice writing! I felt chilled.

8 03 2013
Laura Dunlap (@auralind)

Ahmm, Sally go round the roses…Very well done… and very visceral, too.

8 03 2013
Steve B

Ooooh. Love it. You build the tension very well, and a great touch of mystery at the end. Very vivid imagery and excellent storytelling.

8 03 2013
dreaminofobx

Best last line I’ve read this week! Totally creepy.

8 03 2013
unspywriter

Oooh, a great ghost story is a wonderful way to start the day! Thank you.

Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/procrastination/

8 03 2013
t

I don’t know why, but I had visions of being haunted by the ghost of Morrisey while reading this – this was awesome!

8 03 2013
bnatividad

Creepy! I think the nursery rhyme makes it especially so.

9 03 2013
tedstrutz

Good one, Dude!

9 03 2013
elappleby

Oooh, creepy! Gave me the shivers 🙂

9 03 2013
David Stewart

This picture has inspired a good amount of scary and macabre stories but this is one of the scariest I’ve read so far. Great ending. 🙂

10 03 2013
rochellewisoff

Dear Pete,
The child singing is a nice touch to add to the sinister atmosphere. Puts me in mind of a particular episode of Sapphire and Steel. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle

10 03 2013
lingeringvisions

Ooo…I love it!

10 03 2013
billgncs

I found myself caught in the tension, trying to make myself smaller… good words.

10 03 2013
Douglas MacIlroy

Oh, what a sweet little night tale. Loved it.

Aloha,

Doug

11 03 2013
Sarah Ann

Sppoky and very well crafted.

11 03 2013
elmowrites

ooh, properly eerie this one – I love the bookending of the song. Great job!

12 03 2013
Danny Bowman

I liked this one a lot. You craft a complete story, and that’s hard to do. I like the juxtaposition of the child’s song with the heart-pounding terror of the narrator.

14 03 2013
abraham

Spooky! Very well done.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: