Friday Fictioneers – About Face

31 01 2013

Hello Friday Fiction type people. How are you today? Ready for another ripping yarn? A tale of daring-do? Maybe zombies again? Well tough, ‘cos that’s not what your getting this week. Instead, a simple tale of two people struggling to get along. Something we can all identify with I’m sure. Not that it’s like that round here of course, oh no. In fact it’s wonderfully peaceful this week. But then again … she’s gone away for a few days! Boom boom.

Big thank you to Claire Fuller for providing this week’s photo prompt. It immediately triggered my opening (slightly coarse) line. And a big thank you to Rochelle for organising. Visit Rochelle’s blog if you’d like to know more about the ever expanding Friday Fictioneers group.

Copyright Claire Fuller

About Face

“You two-faced, lying bastard!”

“Eh?”

“I know what you’re up to,” she continued. “Do you think I’m stupid? I’ve seen you sneaking around on Facebook inviting girls down the pub behind my back!”

“I can explain …”

“I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses!”

“Stop!” She paused in mid-rant, mouth open, eyes blazing. “This is for you,” I said as I passed her a small, long gift-wrapped box. “I was saving it for your surprise party, but seeing as …”

With trembling hands she slipped off the paper and opened the box.

“Carbide tipped chisels. How did you know?”



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21 responses

1 02 2013
train-whistle

perfect, from the title to the ending!

1 02 2013
Swirling Turnip

Nicely done! Going back for another read.

1 02 2013
elappleby

Nice writing – not sure she deserves her present, though!

1 02 2013
unspywriter

Good recovery on his part. Nice job.

Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/hephaestus-wedge/

1 02 2013
kindredspirit23

We always seem to go for the worst in people or that would not have surprised me.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/3636/

1 02 2013
1 02 2013
sustainabilitea

Misunderstandings can be a relationship-killer. I think that the “sneaking” was him getting the surprise party ready, at least I hope so. I don’t want to believe he gave her the gift to throw her off the track.

janet

1 02 2013
anelephantcant

Well crafted tale, cool.

2 02 2013
littlewonder2

I think I might have enjoyed this too much… I’m pretty sure it was meant to be more serious than I took it.

An enjoyable read, at least.

2 02 2013
Perry Block (@PerryBlock)

Just what I wanted too! How about that?
Nice wordplay on the prompt.

2 02 2013
rochellewisoff

Carbide tipped chisels? Isn’t he the incurable romantic? But then I got good paint brushes one year and a French easel. I was very happy. Nice one, Pete. “This is for you…” should probably be moved down so it doesn’t look like she’s still speaking. (minor technical thing).
Shalom,
Rochelle

2 02 2013
writeondude

One of the problems I have with such a short format is fitting in enough dialogue attribution. I was supposed to be the one that said ‘stop’, and then continued with ‘this is for you …’ So that whole paragraph is just me talking. Will try and be clearer in future.

2 02 2013
claireful

I loved this. It’s exactly the kind of present I’d like to receive – forget the diamond necklace, chisels are the way to this girl’s heart.

2 02 2013
dmmacilroy

Dear Pete,

Diamonds are a sculptors best friend, eh? Well done this week.

Aloha,

Doug

2 02 2013
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

Good and happy ending. Well chiseled story Pete.

2 02 2013
Anne Orchard

See what trouble surprise parties cause! Just like all those dreadful childrens’ stories where the characters pretend they have forgotten it’s someone’s birthday and make them really sad. Why would you do that?
PS. I missed you too 🙂

2 02 2013
lingeringvisions

Awww, I think she has a keeper.

3 02 2013
Shirley McCann

Very cute story.

3 02 2013
newpillowbook

I like the image of him sneaking around behind her back – he can’t do anything else, given the pose in the sculpture. Now, what is she going to do with the chisels – are they headed for a separation? 😉

4 02 2013
David Stewart

That is a sneaky guy, always with a gift up his sleeve to placate her. I would have given her something less sharp though, I think. 🙂

4 02 2013
Joe Owens

She is not trusting is she? The poor guy wanted to surprise her, but she forced him to reveal ahead of plans. Settle down their lassie!

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