Friday Fictioneers – 100 words of fiction based on a photo prompt, ably orchestrated by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Happy Hanukkah
‘Peewee’ Malone picked up the telephone receiver and used his fat fingers to dial.
“I done the hit like you asked, boss. Whacked him with his own menorah. I said, ‘Happy Hanukkah, chum!’ Took it as a souvenir.”
“Menorah?” queried the disembodied voice on the other end of the line. “He wasn’t Jewish! West 81st, yeah?”
“No problem. You warned me about that, so I wrote ‘West’ on my left hand so I couldn’t get confused.”
Pause.
“You live in Yonkers, right? So let me see if I got this right, you travel south to Manhattan?”
“Uh … yep.”
“Idiot!”
Write On Dude! 
Dear Pete,
Oops. Dontcha just hate it when that happens? This story made me grin. Well done!
shalom,
Rochelle
Coulda made you grin even more. Should have used New Rochelle instead of Yonkers! Also hope that you’re suitably impressed that I knew it was a Hanukkah menorah rather than the everyday version. 🙂
Good for you for knowing the difference, Pete. 😉
Oh, man. You just can’t get an intelligent hit man these days. 😉 Nice and ironic.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/my-fair-clue/
Thanks.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer for sure. Nicely characterised.
Thank you, Sandra.
I thought i’d gotten some lousy Hanukkah presents in my time!
At one point I was trying to work out if he could have stabbed the cellist in the throat with it.
Poor fella.
Oh and the victim too!
Hahah, I hate to admit this, but I still have to recite “Never Eat Soggy Waffles” in my head to remember East vs. West…I *do* however, always remember to take note of whether I’m going North or South 🙂
Great story 🙂
Never Eat Shredded Wheat!
Maybe they could start putting this sort of information into the GPS’s. 🙂 “Hit Man Go”, version 1.
I think if he’s using a candlestick phone it probably pre-dates GPS. Thanks, Janet.
I know, but this is Friday Fictioneers–anything can, and often does, happen.
oh no. this was great. coming from someone who can’t find her way out of a paper bag, I understand. thanks for the chuckle.
Thank you,
Hang on, is this the same dumb hitman who was buying one stocking the other week to rob the bank? The cops must be napping on the job if he’s still on the loose. 🙂
haha i wouldn’t dare hire someone like that.. i’d end up wringing his neck >< lol ^^ great funny story
Hi Dude,
It’s hard to find good help these days. Excellent dialog and a creative response to the photo! Ron
Clever story, Dude. Ruthless guy.
if you want a job done right… well done.
Ugh. All the good comments have been taken. This isn’t a hit. It’s a comic routine. 😉 Great flash fiction.
If you want a job done right, don’t go left 🙂