Friday Fictioneers – Happy Hanukkah

18 01 2013

Friday Fictioneers – 100 words of fiction based on a photo prompt, ably orchestrated by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Happy Hanukkah

‘Peewee’ Malone picked up the telephone receiver and used his fat fingers to dial.

“I done the hit like you asked, boss. Whacked him with his own menorah. I said,  ‘Happy Hanukkah, chum!’ Took it as a souvenir.”

“Menorah?” queried the disembodied voice on the other end of the line. “He wasn’t Jewish! West 81st, yeah?”

“No problem. You warned me about that, so I wrote ‘West’ on my left hand so I couldn’t get confused.”

Pause.

“You live in Yonkers, right? So let me see if I got this right, you travel south to Manhattan?”

“Uh … yep.”

“Idiot!”



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24 responses

18 01 2013
rochellewisoff

Dear Pete,
Oops. Dontcha just hate it when that happens? This story made me grin. Well done!
shalom,
Rochelle

18 01 2013
writeondude

Coulda made you grin even more. Should have used New Rochelle instead of Yonkers! Also hope that you’re suitably impressed that I knew it was a Hanukkah menorah rather than the everyday version. 🙂

19 01 2013
rochellewisoff

Good for you for knowing the difference, Pete. 😉

18 01 2013
unspywriter

Oh, man. You just can’t get an intelligent hit man these days. 😉 Nice and ironic.

Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/my-fair-clue/

18 01 2013
writeondude

Thanks.

18 01 2013
Sandra

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer for sure. Nicely characterised.

18 01 2013
writeondude

Thank you, Sandra.

18 01 2013
Perry Block (@PerryBlock)

I thought i’d gotten some lousy Hanukkah presents in my time!

18 01 2013
writeondude

At one point I was trying to work out if he could have stabbed the cellist in the throat with it.

18 01 2013
lingeringvisions

Poor fella.
Oh and the victim too!

18 01 2013
Hayley

Hahah, I hate to admit this, but I still have to recite “Never Eat Soggy Waffles” in my head to remember East vs. West…I *do* however, always remember to take note of whether I’m going North or South 🙂

Great story 🙂

18 01 2013
writeondude

Never Eat Shredded Wheat!

18 01 2013
sustainabilitea

Maybe they could start putting this sort of information into the GPS’s. 🙂 “Hit Man Go”, version 1.

18 01 2013
writeondude

I think if he’s using a candlestick phone it probably pre-dates GPS. Thanks, Janet.

18 01 2013
sustainabilitea

I know, but this is Friday Fictioneers–anything can, and often does, happen.

18 01 2013
train-whistle

oh no. this was great. coming from someone who can’t find her way out of a paper bag, I understand. thanks for the chuckle.

18 01 2013
writeondude

Thank you,

18 01 2013
Anne Orchard

Hang on, is this the same dumb hitman who was buying one stocking the other week to rob the bank? The cops must be napping on the job if he’s still on the loose. 🙂

19 01 2013
kz

haha i wouldn’t dare hire someone like that.. i’d end up wringing his neck >< lol ^^ great funny story

19 01 2013
bridgesareforburning

Hi Dude,
It’s hard to find good help these days. Excellent dialog and a creative response to the photo! Ron

20 01 2013
tedstrutz

Clever story, Dude. Ruthless guy.

22 01 2013
rich

if you want a job done right… well done.

23 01 2013
Debra Kristi

Ugh. All the good comments have been taken. This isn’t a hit. It’s a comic routine. 😉 Great flash fiction.

23 01 2013
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

If you want a job done right, don’t go left 🙂

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