Friday Fictioneers – Death for Dummies

7 12 2012

Hello again. Here’s my attempt at another short piece of Friday Fiction. Comments welcome, I’m here to learn.

Friday Fiction was originally the idea of Madison Woods and is now ably orchestrated by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. 100 words based on a photo prompt. How hard can it be?

Copyright Rich Voza

Death for Dummies

It’s not as simple as walking towards the light. There are many doors; many choices. The better your life, the more doors are unlocked. Live a bad life – and your options are limited.

The corridor was cold, the lighting harsh. My footsteps echoed off the hard tile floor. I’d tried every door handle twice; but none of them would open to me. Something was nagging at me, something faint in the back of my mind. A voice.

“Pete, come back!”



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41 responses

7 12 2012
Sandra

I think he needs to go back and try again. Just a thought. Nicely done.

7 12 2012
Pete

I think he’s being called back.

7 12 2012
David Stewart

I wonder if you’re really bad if all the doors are locked and you just wander back and forth for eternity, jiggling handles.

7 12 2012
Pete

I think all the doors are locked because he’s not supposed to be there yet. Life’s not finished with him yet.

7 12 2012
David Stewart

It’s kind of a preview of the afterlife for him, I guess. Interesting idea, to have more choices for living a better life.

7 12 2012
Jess Schira

Wow! So much to think about. I wonder what’s behind each door. Well done!

7 12 2012
Pete

Thank you.

7 12 2012
40again

What a good story for the prompt this week. Like life – many doors, many choices……………

7 12 2012
Pete

Reading through the other stories, the doors can represent many thinks. Choices, memories, opportunites . . .

7 12 2012
rich

but the nagging. maybe he won’t want to go back to the nagging – IF the nagging is more of a negative nagging as opposed to something just trying to get our attention. well done. lots of possibilities.

7 12 2012
Pete

No negative nagging in this house. No sir-ee. I just do what I’m told.

I think the guy in the story is getting a more tickling feeling rather than a nagging, maybe that would have been a better choice of words.

7 12 2012
rich

the choice was fine, but changing isn’t a bad thing.

7 12 2012
yerpirate

Cold..clinical…very lucky guy if he is able to go back and make corrections..

7 12 2012
Pete

Maybe we all need a little jolt, might make us think more about what we do and how we treat others. Especially if there are risks or rewards at the end of it. My first draft include labels on the doors such as ‘Return as a Slug’ or ‘Return as a Rabbit’.

7 12 2012
sustainabilitea

Does that mean he’s now rePete?? 🙂 Must be the paint fumes.

7 12 2012
Pete

Hohoho.

7 12 2012
Anne Orchard

I loved this. I think it is a great reason for all the doors to be locked – it’s just not his time to go yet.

7 12 2012
Debra Kristi

I don’t think it was his time yet. He still has more to do on this side of the veil. I really like this one. Liked your interpretation of what’s on the other side. My grandmother died before it was her time and got yanked back to the living by the golden cord (her words). She didn’t want to return after experiencing what was on the other side. My sister died with unfinished business and was therefore unable to move on for many years. Presumably trapped within that corridor of yours. So, Pete could stay and be trapped there, or return and continue living, but be forever changed as a result. Where will your story go?

8 12 2012
Pete

Thanks, Debra. Fascinating stuff. I don’t think people would stay in the corridor, it really is just a passage from one place to another. Most of the time you move on, occasionally you get yanked back.

You’ve got me thinking now. I wonder what could cause a person to get stuck there? Have you ever seen the old David Niven film ‘A Matter of Life and Death’? That’s about being stuck in between. One of my favorite ever films. Go borrow it.

7 12 2012
brudberg

Wow, a great take on death and being called back again.

8 12 2012
Pete

Thank you.

7 12 2012
The Bumble Files

I like this a lot! Well done. Perhaps he should turn back and try for better chances for the next time. It sucked me in right away!

8 12 2012
Pete

I think it might help him examine his life.

7 12 2012
Russell

Sounds like a different take on the near-death experience. Either that, or an odd version of Monty Hall’s “Let’s Make a Deal” Would you like to trade the fatted calf for what’s behind door #3?

8 12 2012
Pete

Ah, but don’t forget the odds change once you know what’s behind door #1.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Hall_problem

8 12 2012
silentlyheardonce

That long walk to eternity. Nice he can turn back. Great story.

8 12 2012
Pete

Thanks.

8 12 2012
billgncs

a life so boring he didn’t unlock any doors? He’d better go back for a redo!

8 12 2012
Pete

I think the doors are locked this time, he’s not supposed to be there yet.

8 12 2012
billgncs

that makes sense. – thanks

8 12 2012
dmmacilroyDouglas macIlroy

Dear Pete,

Perfect ending to your foray through the halls. Not his time yet, but he will remember the doors and what it takes to get them to open onto a better life.

Aloha,

Doug

8 12 2012
Pete

Exactly right. Thanks, Doug.

P.S. Started saving my pennies to visit Keck telescopes one day. Could take a while.

9 12 2012
dmmacilroyDouglas macIlroy

Let me know when you’re in the neighborhood. Aloha, D.

8 12 2012
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Well done, Pete. I really loved the way you ended this. I’m sure he’ll have a story to tell when he comes back around.
Shalom,
Rochelle

8 12 2012
Pete

Thanks, Rochelle. But nobody believed me! Hehehe.

8 12 2012
bridgesareforburning

Don’t go into the light, Pete. You’re needed at Friday Fictionners. The internet connection in hell is dial-up! Liked your explanation of the afterlife. Ron

8 12 2012
Parul

It seems that he is having what’s called a “near death experience”.
Nice take on the prompt. I hope he remembers this when he is back and works towards having more doors available on his return to the corridor.

8 12 2012
Robert Gregory

Very nice! I like it. And I think Ron may be right. Thank God for broadband!

9 12 2012
10 12 2012
Abraham

He gets to reload.
I hope he saved at a good point 🙂

11 12 2012
Perry Block (@PerryBlock)

Boy, I like the idea of a second chance. Only problem is I’m going to need two or three at a minimum! Good premise.

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