Friday Fictioneers

30 11 2012

It’s Friday already, so time for another hastily bashed out 100 words of fiction literary masterpiece based on the photo prompt below. Bit of a rush this week, older son’s birthday today and our anniversary as well, so might not get round to much reviewing and commenting, but I’ll do my best.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

A Custom Order

Even at forty-something, buying women’s stockings can be excruciatingly embarrassing and technically challenging. 15 Dernier. What’s that converted to dollars?

I was stood there trying to pick the right colour, when the young saleslady appeared.

“Looking for something special?”

“Not really, but I only need one.”

“How about these?” she asked, showing me a black pair.

“Perfect, but I only need one.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said eyes widening as she placed a sympathetic hand on mine.

Outside, I removed a stocking from the white carrier bag, pulled it on over my head, and walked into the bank next door.



Advertisements

Actions

Information

31 responses

30 11 2012
rich

the 15 dernier, is that money from a country i’m not familiar with? nice twist there, but the fool of a bank robber just allowed someone to get a good look at his face. good (or bad) luck to him. well done.

30 11 2012
writeondude

Like I said, it’s a whole different language. The guys reading this might need to Google ’15 dernier’ !

30 11 2012
rich

sure is. but what confused me was when he first talked about the difficulty with buying stockings, i assumed that had to do with size, not the currency.

30 11 2012
writeondude

Short fiction is like an old joke, if you have to explain it then it probably wasn’t that good in the first place. The guy’s confused, Rich. He thinks 15 Dernier sounds like a foreign price, but it’s actually to do with the weave. The lower the denier number the sheerer the garment.

30 11 2012
rich

yeah, that’s something i’d never know, but in another land, that’s everyday knowledge i guess. thanks for explaining.

30 11 2012
Joanna (Lazuli Portals Trilogy)

Oh, clever! I really liked the ‘converted to dollars’ line, and that’s a great twist in the tale. Nice one, Pete. 🙂

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thank you, Joanna.

30 11 2012
Charles Oyeleke Williams

Happy birthday to your son…you may send us a picture of your wedding too, for a tribute next week. enjoy your weekend.
your story is cute and i will want to know more…

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thanks, Charles. I’ll pass on your best wishes to my son.

30 11 2012
Sandra

Hilarious – still giggling. Comic timing was spot on!

30 11 2012
sustainabilitea

The whole piece worked for me even though I guessed why he needed the stocking, but I enjoyed this most of all, ““Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said eyes widening as she placed a sympathetic hand on mine.” I’m still chuckling, imagine her thinking he had a wife/girlfriend with only one leg and I feel good because I knew what 15 dernier meant. Spot on!

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thanks, Janet. Glad you liked it. I think it’s mostly the girls that know what 15 dernier was. I wonder what that says about the guys!

2 12 2012
sustainabilitea

I knew from reading about WWII, when stockings and cigarettes were like money.

30 11 2012
bridgesareforburning

Hi Pete,
I prefer pantyhose from Walmart when robbing banks, but each to his own. Maybe he’ll hook up with a one-legged girlfriend and party with all that money. Entertaining and engaging story. Ron

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thanks, Ron.

1 12 2012
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Hi Pete,
You made me choke on my coffee. Fortunately I didn’t spew all over my desk. I did not see that end coming. Well done! Very well done indeed!
Shalom,
Rochelle

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thanks, Rochelle, and happy anniversary.

1 12 2012
mari wells

I loved this story! The unexpected twist was wonderful. I laughed so hard the kids wanted to know why. I read the story to them and they laughed too.

2 12 2012
writeondude

Glad you all like it.

1 12 2012
myothervoices

Nice twist. Surely he’s given the game away, though only getting one

2 12 2012
writeondude

He only bought one, the saleslady knows what he looks like. I don’t think he’s the brightest bankrobber in town.

1 12 2012
billgncs

good one. I looked it up, and learned something. They whole time I was thinking, poor guy, his gal only has one leg….. I’m still laughing at how you misled me!

2 12 2012
writeondude

Educational and entertaining, what more can you ask for.

1 12 2012
brudberg

I’d pick up a pair at a grocery store. But bank robbers are probably not the sharpest knifes.

2 12 2012
writeondude

You’re right. This guy is definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

2 12 2012
Douglas MacIlroy

Dernier converted to entertainment and awe for your story? Check!

I really enjoyed this one, Pete.

Aloha,

Doug

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thanks, Doug. Much appreciated.

2 12 2012
Shirley McCann

I didn’t see that coming at all. Great job.

2 12 2012
writeondude

Thanks, Shirley.

4 12 2012
Debra Kristi

Love it! But I would also throw my pair in with the groceries. Of course, I’d make sue to pay cash so that there was no paper trail. 😉

5 12 2012
Abraham

Very well done.
Naturally, i also assumed dernier was some currency 😀
Belated happy anniversary and happy birthday to your son!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: