Friday Fictioneers

5 10 2012

Here’s my take on this weeks photo for Madison Woods Friday Fictioneers: 100 words of fiction. Constructive criticism welcome, I’m here to learn.

My Grandmother’s Kitchen

My grandmother may have been an awful violinist, but in her kitchen she could create culinary symphonies out of the simplest of ingredients. If only she could have worked this magic with her music.

When she baked, the smells pervading the house were heavenly, but the sounds that spread through the house as she practised her violin, were the sounds of fingernails down the chalkboard. The sounds that drive a man to take action.

Now the kitchen stands empty. No symphony, but no cacophony either.



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24 responses

5 10 2012
Joanna (Lazuli Portals)

Oohhh – Your final three sentences are cause and effect? I really enjoyed this! Thanks for visiting ours.

5 10 2012
sustainabilitea

Well done contrast between the two. I think your first line is very good.

5 10 2012
Sandra

A great take on the prompt, nicely done.

5 10 2012
rich

1. did something sinister happen? 2. you can do better than “nails on a chalkdboard.” that’s too cliché. but well done.

5 10 2012
writeondude

1. Yes. 2. Good point, should have put a bit more thought into that one, but nails on a chalkboard would sure drive me to to drastic action!

5 10 2012
rich

i can handle nails on chalkboard but i can’t handle a fork pulled through teeth.

6 10 2012
rochellewisoff

Hey, Rich I was going to say the same thing but you beat me to it.

5 10 2012
dmmacilroy

Dear Dude,

Earplugs? Nah, that would ruin a good story. nice work this week.

Aloha,

Doug

5 10 2012
Jessica Schira

Well, that seems like a bit of an over reaction, but it does make for a delightful read. Well done!

5 10 2012
Perry Block (@PerryBlock)

Nice piece. I agree about “nails on a chalkboard” though, its only flaw.

5 10 2012
writeondude

Noted. I hereby promise not to use cliches again. Unless I change my mind.

5 10 2012
readinpleasure

What a beautiful and funny story. I laughed at your descriptions. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/fridayfictioneers-the-empty-heart/

5 10 2012
writeondude

Thanks, I liked yours too.

5 10 2012
Tom Poet

A good piece of writing. I would change the nails on the chalkboard…fork through teeth is good one like Rich said…I would try and show the sound more…maybe the sound split earwax…I don’t know…Keep up the good work Dude.

5 10 2012
writeondude

Thank you. No more cliches, promise. Cross my heart and hope to die. Oops, done it again.

5 10 2012
bridgesareforburning

Hi Dude,
Excellent story, and loved the way you blended and contrasted the cooking and the violin playing. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Bet the food in prison is noxious and the noises are bad too. Not a good tradeoff! Ron

5 10 2012
writeondude

Thank you. No grandmothers were harmed in the writing of this piece.

5 10 2012
Parul

Culinary symphonies! Very novel!
Good work!

5 10 2012
kdmccrite2

This leaves me wanting to know more. Good job. Thank you!!

5 10 2012
unspywriter

Very sad, but nicely told. Thanks for the comment on mine.

6 10 2012
rochellewisoff

I really like your offering, Dude. One of my sons played clarinet in band. Those early practice sessions made my ears bleed. Fortunately he improved. I don’t know that I’d hold out much hope for Grandma. I do for your writing through. Nice job.

6 10 2012
writeondude

Thank you, Rochelle. That means a lot to me and makes me think I should keep at it.

6 10 2012
rochellewisoff

Indeed you should! You’ll figure it out when it comes to cliches, too. 😉

7 10 2012
Shirley McCann

Ooh! So ominous. Poor grandma, but of course, now she can’t make great food either.

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