Friday Fictioneers

28 09 2012

It’s Friday, so it’s time for Madison Woods Friday Fictioneers: 100 words of fiction based on the photo prompt. Comments welcome, I need to learn.

Photo by Sandra Crook

Alone With My Memories

We were newly married, young and in love.

She merrily skipped and danced her way ahead of me, up the steps and through the old gateway. And then she vanished, leaving just a ripple in the air like waves settling back on a disturbed pond. I tried to follow, but for me it was just an empty arch. I tried and tried until it got dark, then sat on the rocky steps and cried.

Now I’m an old man; but still I return. I miss her so much.



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20 responses

28 09 2012
Anne Orchard

Ah, love it Dude. Perhaps he should believe in more things that he can’t see 😉 I’d love to find out where she went.
Mine’s here today http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/09/28/friday-fictioneers-jungle-escape/

28 09 2012
Sandra

Very effective piece – liked it, and especially the ‘ripple in the air’. Mystical and sad. Nicely done.

28 09 2012
tollykit

Nicely done. I’d love to know where she disappeared to and what prevented him from crossing the threshold. Reminds me of a fairy tale.

http://adrarasdreams.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/fridayfictioneers-gate.html

28 09 2012
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Poor guy. Too bad he never moved on.

28 09 2012
readinpleasure

Nicely written. Would want to knw more. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/09/28/fridayfictioneers-my-dream/

28 09 2012
bridgesareforburning

Hi Dude,
Loved the simile “like waves settling back on a disturbed pond.” Distubing indeed and I feel so sorry for this poor guy. Good writing! Ron

28 09 2012
sustainabilitea

You did a good job with this and I liked the same line/simile Ron did. Nice fairy tale touch. I wish he had been able to find someone else and go on with his life.

28 09 2012
kdmccrite2

I think you should explore this and write more sometime, as in a short story. A good seed here.

28 09 2012
Tom Poet

I like it Dude. Poor lonely guy should to go to match.com or asiansingles.com..Someone bring that man on top of the rocky steps a laptop! Here is mine…http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=470

28 09 2012
vb holmes

“I tried to follow, but for me it was just an empty arch. I tried and tried until it got dark, then sat on the rocky steps and cried.” You’re a sci-fi guy–was it because he didn’t believe in the force?

29 09 2012
Swirling Turnip

Well done, nice writing. Sad and tender at the same time.

29 09 2012
boomiebol

Poor guy…wonder what happened to her! Nicely done

29 09 2012
Bumba

You did a nice job with this photo.

29 09 2012
kindredspirit23

Excellent! Loved it! Really.
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/

29 09 2012
The Bumble Files

Dude, excellent job. I agree with another commenter that this could be a good one to expand. It’s so tragic, but he never lost hope. Oh, the power of love.

29 09 2012
writeondude

Thank you all once again for your kind comments. I had a few ideas about how this tale might pan out. I think my favourite is that for her nothing happens, but when she looks back her husband is gone and there’s just some nutty old guy claiming that he loves her.

29 09 2012
myothervoices

Seems quite whimsical till the sudden brutal end. Like the mix.

30 09 2012
rich

we don’t know why she disappeared, but in this story, the why is not as important as the aftermath. well done.

1 10 2012
Shirley McCann

How sad. Enjoyed the read, though.

3 10 2012
dmmacilroy

And what of her, waiting the rest of her life in that spot she found herself in mid skip so long ago?

Good job.

Aloha,

Doug

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